How could I be so stupid
But how could you be so ruthless
How do you lie just like you’re breathing
Deceive as often as you’re eating
Smile as you watch me bleeding
How ?!
How could you
How could I be so stupid
But how could you be so ruthless
How do you lie just like you’re breathing
Deceive as often as you’re eating
Smile as you watch me bleeding
How ?!
How could you
I get my best from you and my worst from you
We were all given the short end of the stick
It’s generational
You passed that stick to me even shorter
Because I was born wrong
Wrong gender
Wrong timing
Wrong name
Inconvenient
You even realized you had me with the wrong person
You let us know at every turn
That we ain’t good enough
Maybe that’s where I learned to strive for men who are unavailable
Maybe I have daddy issues even tho my daddy was there the whole time
I never told you this but
I’m not even mad at what you did to me
I was scared
Who’s ever seen such a tiny body hurt so badly ?
What if I didn’t make it
You taught me mental illness even though I couldn’t understand it yet
You taught me what it means to be black in America
You taught me capitalism at its finest
You taught me how to point out flawed systems
Spoiler alert: it’s all of them
You taught me what value is
You also taught me paranoia
You taught me how to endure abuse and still smile
You taught me that God will ignore my prayers
You taught me that I’m not worth time, only expensive things
You taught me oxymorons
Did you know I find myself going for broke boys because money ain’t never did shit for me ?
Not really.
It only taught me what’s real and what isn’t.
Money doesn’t fix the emotional scars from a Tasmanian like ass whoopin
Money doesn’t stop alcoholism that leads to violence and makes me run like a chicken with its head cut off to hide all the weapons I could find before tucking myself quietly in a cabinet.
Money doesn’t cure cptsd
Money didn’t stop your son from…
Maybe I’ve said too much
Maybe I’m a little angry
One day the grass will be grown over
And people won’t post anymore
And your body will be dust
But the memories will still be with me
And the pain
And the sadness
And the inside jokes
And the memories
And all the love we shared
Will have nowhere to go
I’ll be missing you and you’ll be nothing nowhere
One day the grass will cover the dirt but nothing will get rid of the hurt
Oh looky there
The tears rolling in
She’s crying again
Crybaby, crybaby
You’re so weak
You don’t even follow all that shit that you speak
All that self-love, self-care
Can’t find that crap in you nowhere
I think you like it
I think it turns you on
I think you love to have them here
But feel better when they’re gone
I think you like being alone
I think you like feeling worthless
I think you lie when you talk about your purpose
Because what purpose ?
You ain’t even that deep
Your why is on the surface
You’re a fraud
You just like to be built up
You like to feel like a god
Then you like to fall from grace
Flat on your fucking face
Then blame everyone else for being in this place
You’re ridiculous
You’re dramatic
Oh and look at this
And you’re an addict
Go ahead
Fall back into your habits
Money can’t buy love
But money buys drugs
And that’s close enough
And if you get high enough
You won’t ask why and stuff
Let the tears dry up
More brown in your cup
You don’t even like to drink
But you need fucked up
You’re pathetic
You’ll never get it
NO ONE WILL EVER LOVE YOU FOR YOU
Accept it
They say time heals all wounds
But I don’t know if that’s true
Because I still feel pain
When I think about you