Don’t You Dare

I’ve been okay on my own

Who the hell are you to come along

Fucking shit up

Mixing up my plans

Inserting hope into the path where I had a one way ticket to-

I don’t even like to talk about it.

I wasn’t gonna talk about it because it was done.

Finito.

Finished.

El fin.

Then YOU, stormed in here smiling, goofin’ off

Being sweet and shit.

Taking my breath away, sweeping me off my feet and shit.

Who the hell do you think you are ???

Maybe I like being angry.

It’s familiar…

Reminds me of the parents I lost.

The siblings I once had.

My inevitable destination.

Maybe I wanted to be a ball of fury to blend into the hell I know is waiting for me on the other side.

Nigga, HOW DARE YOU !

Waltzing in here with a fire extinguisher like you own this bitch.

Like you pay some bills around this mothafucka.

I should slap you in yo mouth.

With my mouth of course.

I’m pissed but I wouldn’t dare treat you like these other mothafuckas.

Not even after you started reminding me of them.

You’re really different, even when the fuck up kinda looked the same.

I’ll give you that.

Because see…

I’ve had people thinking they’re the HBIC or the Big Dawg before waltzing in here before

But not with no fire extinguisher.

They brought fans, gasoline and more fire with their interruptions.

When I fell asleep in anger they put my thumb in my own mouth to coddle myself but when I woke up reminded me of what they did for me.

Now that’s fucked up.

A hell waitin’ on them too but a different kind.

My anger is more like a righteous indignation.

My past did a number on me.

I know most everyone can rightfully say that but yall got single digits, mostly self-inflicted.

I’m in the hundreds with it because of a hand I was dealt in a game I ain’t even ever wanna play.

HOW DARE YOU ?!

Don’t you dare come any closer.

I’m not comfortable with that.

I just might swing on that ass.

I know there’s a wide range of emotions but I only needed ONE.

I’m safe with one. This one that’s familiar.

And here yo happy ass come making me smile bringing in love and all that mushy shit.

Saying how natural it feels.

BOY IF YOU ONLY KNEW HOW UNCOMFORTABLE THIS WAS !

I’d say it was scary but I ain’t no hoe.

I take fear on the chin.

When it hits me, I eat that.

But this ?

I don’t know.

I don’t want you to leave but shit.

How dare you. I should smack you in the mouth, boy.

One Day – Series Part 9

One day the grass will be grown over 

And people won’t post anymore 

And your body will be dust 

But the memories will still be with me 

And the pain 

And the sadness 

And the inside jokes 

And the memories 

And all the love we shared 

Will have nowhere to go 

I’ll be missing you and you’ll be nothing nowhere 

One day the grass will cover the dirt but nothing will get rid of the hurt 

  • your cado 

Wading – Series Part 5

You keep me waiting 

Often 

But it’s my fault

Because I wait

I wade

You stray 

I stay 

But I feel out of place 

It’s a pattern 

Oh the games we play 

You love me one day 

 But the next have nothing to say ?

You’re selfish 

But it’s my fault 

Because I coddled that 

Shoulda left at the first red flag 

I already said that in another poem 

Why do I do this to myself ?

I ruin my mental health

Every

Fucking 

Time 

I’m an idiot 

I hate every bit of it 

I hate myself a little more every time 

How have I not drowned yet ?

I wade 

I wait 

It’s too late now

  • your solace serene 

FLY

My wings don’t spread like they used to

When I used to fly with you

When I used to get high with you

When I used to lie with you

You said you’d never lie to me

You said you would ride with me

You never even tried with me

You had someone at home.

Damn boy,

That shit was hella wrong.

I was dope and you was stylish

We was fly.

Now I’m broken and you’re devilish

You have the nerve to question to why

Why the flip

Like you ain’t dip

Like I should stay for the games you play

Like I should be okay with the sling slay

Like I should be down with the mess you made.

Bitch you so selfish.

I really hate it.

I don’t wish I never met you

But I do wish we never dated.

I’m so jaded.

I just wanted get faded.

I’d be lying if I said I didn’t still want you here naked.

I’m in my head about it.

Ain’t no shame about it.

But will I pursue ?

I doubt it ?

It’s just that old habits die so hard.

I’m used to you and my milkshakes

Bringing you right up to my yard.

And now it sucks

You gave no fucks

So now I have to pull your card.

We were so fly.

At least I thought we were.

Turns out we could just stretch to touch the ground

We were no where near the birds.