Bitter. 
Mad at me. 
Mad at my nigga.
It’s just too much. EYE don’t want to do the work.
Still haunted by all those words you spoke.
I figured it out, my heart’s condition is poor
It’s so much fuckin work and I simply don’t want to do it anymore
“Finally, Jesus.” are the words that left your lips over a game, 
while I’m still mentally placating the blame.
Same words that I heard after coming to this very conclusion. 
&Although I already knew it, I chose delusion. 
Understanding that I was young
Doesn’t negate feeling dumb –
Or numb….
To your progressive efforts 
Tainted with fear and anxiety like a broken record.
I’m damaged goods now. Wow.?
I feel cold sad confused and still much very bruised. 
How did I enter such state of feeling so used? 
I really want it to work out but I’m just so fuckin burnt out. 
Exhausted, tired
– with not enough love to tip it this time.
Bc Even in my sleep, it occupies my mind. 
Wondering if it were so easy, why’d it take so long?
Was I not important enough to hear all along?
Reflecting on the years I thought I was wrong. 
Only to be right-
About the fights, mean things and ugly scenes.
The source of it all, Manny
Nigga ruined yet another family.
I need some therapy, to get it up off of me. 
Bc I want to forgive, give grace but IDK how to
Guess I’ll just power through
Like I been doin – 
Conclusions…….

Learn more about the author, Joa, here.