Conclusions x Just Call Me Joa

Bitter. 
Mad at me. 
Mad at my nigga.
It’s just too much. EYE don’t want to do the work.
Still haunted by all those words you spoke.
I figured it out, my heart’s condition is poor
It’s so much fuckin work and I simply don’t want to do it anymore
“Finally, Jesus.” are the words that left your lips over a game, 
while I’m still mentally placating the blame.
Same words that I heard after coming to this very conclusion. 
&Although I already knew it, I chose delusion. 
Understanding that I was young
Doesn’t negate feeling dumb –
Or numb….
To your progressive efforts 
Tainted with fear and anxiety like a broken record.
I’m damaged goods now. Wow.?
I feel cold sad confused and still much very bruised. 
How did I enter such state of feeling so used? 
I really want it to work out but I’m just so fuckin burnt out. 
Exhausted, tired
– with not enough love to tip it this time.
Bc Even in my sleep, it occupies my mind. 
Wondering if it were so easy, why’d it take so long?
Was I not important enough to hear all along?
Reflecting on the years I thought I was wrong. 
Only to be right-
About the fights, mean things and ugly scenes.
The source of it all, Manny
Nigga ruined yet another family.
I need some therapy, to get it up off of me. 
Bc I want to forgive, give grace but IDK how to
Guess I’ll just power through
Like I been doin – 
Conclusions…….

🖤

Learn more about the author, Joa, here.

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